Dear Elliott,
Four short weeks ago my life changed forever. It was pretty much the only point of my pregnancy where I could say I worked really hard (although there were parts that were NO FUN, like the vomiting, I can't claim I did anything to do or undo the situation). I found strength I never, ever knew I had and I didn't even think twice about tapping into it. At 11:30, four weeks ago yesterday, I decided I wanted you out here with us. After almost two hours of pushing that felt like 10 minutes, you came out with an oddly shaped head and covered in muck and I glared at the pediatricians who took you away to make sure you were okay, since you were 3 and a half weeks early. Your daddy looked at me to try to keep me calm, and helped me snap out of my tunnel vision (BRING. ME. MY. BABY. NOW.) to hear that you were crying, and beautiful, and fine. Every time your shaky little voice would cry, I would cry too. The nurses and my midwife were still working on me, and I couldn't even hear them asking me questions and making sure I wasn't in pain. (BABY. NOW.)
Then after weighing you and wiping you off and doing all of the things they needed to do, they brought you over to me, in a pink and blue hat that wasn't anywhere near as cute as the ones that my friend Georgina and I had made for you, and they placed you on my chest and covered us with a warm flannel blanket since I was practically convulsing from the epidural wearing off. Your eyes were all gummed up with the drops they give you and your Daddy and I kissed and cried and watched you. And realized we still had to find a name.
The first week and a half of your life was blissfully easy for me, since we had so much great help from Granny Beverly and Grandma Peggy. I didn't do anything but sleep and feed you and eat wonderful food. Then they had to go home and I realized that life with you would be a different ballgame without someone cooking for us and doing our laundry and letting me nap. Luckily we had friends who made us food and brought it over, and for the most part you have been a great companion the rest of the time.
You sleep anywhere from two to four hours at a time, waking up to eat and get a clean diaper. You are increasingly alert in the mornings and late afternoons, and sometimes get a second wind when we are trying to settle in to sleep. Your Daddy is learning to either sleep with his I-pod on or struggling through the nights while you grunt and try to get free of the various swaddling methods we use to help you settle in at night, and although I swore to myself that I wouldn't, I usually drag you into bed with me at the second feeding (2am-5am are not my logical hours, if I have any at all). You don't even have to be swaddled at this point, and seem to roll into my belly to snuggle regardless of where you start out sleeping. I'm not sure if this is because I am a snuggler or you are too, but I'm trying to break both of us of this habit slowly so your poor father can sleep at night too. (Or maybe he will learn to sleep through freight trains roaring through the living room like us!)
We are also dragging out toys, books, and I even got you a swing (for free from a friend!) that you are enjoying with your increasing awake time. It seems like this alertness is reserved for home only. We have taken you to picnics, on walks, even to noisy restaurants for social gatherings and you seem to take the roar of surrounding noise as a lullaby, instantly snoozing. I am trying to figure out covert nursing in public, but we are both still a little awkward maneuvering under a blanket. And your coordination- um, I'm hoping that you didn't get that from me. But right now it isn't looking good for you love, as finding your food source often leaves you looking like Ray Charles, waving your head back and forth until I finally have to do it for you so that you don't get all mad and red and screamy. But I'm absolutely loving every second with you, little man, from the late night feedings to you napping on my chest or at my side, to watching you grin a lopsided grin in your sleep and hoping I get to see it when you are awake, soon. I love you and I'm so glad you are here.
Love,
Momma
*This is a blatent ripoff of an idea from other blogs to write monthly newsletters to your baby to help you (and him, if he's ever interested) in what he was like in these early months. One of the ladies I work with, Ms. Lisa, has told me record, record, record EVERYTHING. It goes too fast. I'll do my best...
Hope you had a great Halloween. We bought five bags of candy and had two (count them- one, two) trick or treaters, and Elliott crawled around our living room in his costume until an hour after his bedtime. We'll probably actually trick-or-treat next year, and I'll still eat most of his candy, but for his first Halloween I'm glad we kept it low key. Especially since our car broke mid-day.
If you give him long enough, he either falls asleep or forgets they are strapped to his head, so I finally got a shot of him wearing them. He doesn't look happy, but I'll settle for indifferent, I guess.
We played around with the camera a little and got a few good pictures of each other with Elliott. 
After a little while, Elliott got a little fussy, and we had to fight for a long time before he would take the bottle. We finally figured out that if he has to settle for a bottle, he doesn't want to work to eat. The strange bottle designed to be more like the breast (which other nursing moms have told me was the only thing that their child would eat from) does nothing but tick our little guy off. We tried the regular old bottle that practically pours milk down his throat, and he finally drank it all and managed to chill out.
I've also discovered in the last few days that he has added a few new tricks to his repertoire. If you talk on the phone while looking at Elliott, he thinks you are talking to him and will coo and smile back at you. Also, I can put him on his playmat in the floor, turn around, and he will somehow end up under the kitchen table by kicking his legs and inching away, millimeter by millimeter. He's sneaky, this one.
Sorry that I took a little break. The Gossage family made the long drive up to Michigan for my first Mother's day (which was truly awesome) and I've been quite busy. And Elliott has gone without touching the ground, bed, swing, or couch for three days, so now I'm trying to wean him from the idea of sleeping only in someone's arms. My little boy is trying really hard to outgrow his newborn diapers (I still have almost a whole package- so he will have to squeeze into them for another few days) and his newborn sized clothes, which makes me sad for some reason. Not that we don't have a lot of really cute stuff in the next size already, but I'm not ready to retire the things I brought him home from the hospital in yet, so I'm trying to stuff his chubby little self in those too. He's even getting too big for some of the swaddling blankets we've been using, and although I know he's six weeks old today, he still feels way too brand new to have outgrown anything. I'm in denial already about how fast babies grow.
We gave him his first bath a couple of days later, and he does not like to be cold. Most of the pictures after this point are of him protesting at the top of his lungs. 
Elliott is also starting to become more alert and is making some truly hilarious faces. Sometimes he looks like Mini Me. Not Mini-Nicki, but the Austin Powers character. I love it.
