The young and the restless

Sigh. So the sleep? With the plan and the earplugs and the REM cycles? Did. Not. Go. Smoothly.

We didn't get him into bed when I planned, but he was asleep by 9:30. According to the plan, I could feed him again at 3 am, which shouldn't have been that hard. During the day he was doing great waiting for 3 or 4 hours to eat. He woke up at 12:30 and I readied myself to shhhh and rock and bounce him back to sleep. Just not feed him yet. Normally he will grunt and kick when he wakes up, and then let out a couple of half hearted cries to let me know he's awake. I've never tested it to see what happens afterward.

What happens is we wake the entire complex with screams that could wake the dead. David's earplugs were apparently worthless. Shushing, and swaying, and rocking, and bouncing? Did nothing. Just endless and furious wailing, and rooting around like "I know you have them and I can scream all night if you don't feed me." I would look at the clock thinking, It must be one by now. The clock would laugh and read out 12:36. I did manage to keep it up for a half an hour. Finally David said something to the effect of "Why are we doing this?" and I replied "I want to sleep!" I gave up a little after one and fed him, and I cried the whole time. He nursed for twenty minutes, and then slept until 5. Which, admittedly, is progress. Painful, awful progress.

So I fed him twice last night, and he is able to go back to sleep with some shushing (he stirred from 6-8 every 30 minutes or so, but I only went to the crib once. I'm going to try super hard to figure out his napping and eating schedule today so that we can do a better job tonight. I'm also going to be really nice to my neighbors when I see them, lest we get handed an eviction notice or are cited for disturbing the peace.

Uncle

So a month ago I wasn't convinced enough to "train" Elliott to sleep through the night. I figured he was so young, and still eating so frequently, that surely if I gave him time he would start eventually sleeping for longer intervals.

I was wrong.

Instead, Elliott has regressed somewhat, and last night he woke up no less than 5 times. This has happened on and off for a couple of weeks, and I give in. I'll probably end up ranting later on about how babies DO NOT TRAIN for sleep. But I'll give it a try. I really, really want to sleep longer than four hours, and it hasn't happened in months.

At first, I tried to stretch Elliott's feeding intervals, but he seems to be doing that on his own now, without my trying really. My friend Georgina tried to coax me into doing this for him, but I caved, and now he did it on his own. HOWEVER, instead of sleeping at longer intervals at night, he has one good stretch then constantly wakes up for the rest of the night. Or at least, I think he's waking up, but according to lots of baby sleep experts, he may just be having a wakeful period and I am rushing to his noisy side before he can go back to a deeper sleep. We share our bedroom with him, and David is a light sleeper. I'm usually launched out of bed before he's whimpered.

Tonight, however, David has been advised to wear earplugs. I am going to feed him at 3 am, but then not again until it is time to get up for the day. I may die. I'm just hoping I won't cave. It is so hard to be rational at 3 am. And it's so easy to just let him nurse for five minutes and put him back in his crib. I just don't want to do it 6 times a night anymore. I have to think big picture.

Big picture, Nicki. You're the mom. You can do this.

I'm so dead.